Why am I here?
Not the here of therapy, of course,

The here of the re-incarnation of course.
The here and now of earth-life again.

Here on earth life I am filled with terror
Endless images of catastrophe
No peace of mind
Daily hating myself.

Here on earth-life
The love object is still an object
The thou part of her
Still in the unlit part of my mind.

Here on earth-life in my night time journeys
The thou of my love object
Drowns in the awful whirlpool
In the terrible waters of myself.

Here on earth-life
I am a failed fisherman
I reach out to pull in my loved one...
Too late.

In the night light she disappears.
There she is...
Now she is gone.
I toss and turn
I can't breathe.

In the daylight
She is an object, a toy.

I see her clearly only at the hour before death
And then I cry forever.