These are messianic times
the Jews
are scheduled to come
to Israel
from the four corners
of the earth
for the great redemption

Whereas the WASPS in America
and Canada
didn't understand me Irwin
the Jew
the Jews in Israel
would understand Irwin the Jew

Are we not going back
to the land of our fathers?
Those were the fathers
the transpersonal
came from certain dreams
Sudden helpers appearing
psychic events

The Israel
nightmare
centered around
the following events
all occurring
within the first year

A week before my wife was to arrive
with the children
That Japanese terrorist
shot up many people
at the airport

My job position at Tel Hashomer
I saw wouldn't pan out
So I walked out

y wife was sick
several months with
toxima
and when the baby arrived
he died
I saw I just couldn't learn Hebrew

My whole family got the mumps
My son got encephalitis
I got such a bad case
of dysentery
that I almost died
The Saknut lost our file

My wife's mother sold her
house
My mother re-married

Along came the Yom Kippur war

I wanted to return to America
(though now there was no place for us)
but my wife wanted to give it a chance
and my children felt comfortable in Israel
Had my children felt differently
I would have insisted we return

Our first excuse
for not going back
was that we had to wait
for the baby to be born

When the baby was born and died
we were all in a state of shock
and ensuing depression
In such a state it is difficult
to mobilize

By the time we were mobilized
my wife's mother sold her house
my mother re-married and went
to live in Florida
so we had no place to stay
while we would be looking
for employment

We decided to stick it out
till the end of June
to see if I could land
another job

When I got a job in
Ashkelon,
and I received support
from my co-workers,
and could give supervision
in English
until I learned Hebrew
I felt better

Because my son
got accepted in a
good school,
he didn't want to go back.
Because we finally got
and apartment (they found
our file)
my wife wanted it stay longer
and
because I had a job
I felt less panicky
but still longing to go back

When our furniture arrived
and we bought a car
and I started a very
interesting group
of artists and actors
in Jerusalem
I began to feel more settled

Then came the Yom Kippur war
and paradoxically
this nightmare
instead of making us
pack up and leave
somehow drew us into
the community

The people who we knew abut who
had made Aliah about the same time
as us
At least 20ty of their families left
None of them had it half as
hard as we
And all of them had families
which they could return to
in America
We had no buffer zone

Consequently now
all are good friends
are not Americans
or Canadians

If we had roots to go back to
we would have gone back.
My mother's place in Florida didn't
allow children except to visit
My sister was not interested
in helping us
My brother-in-law wouldn't
think of helping us
was now in an old age home

After fur years
I finally had
a realistic opportunity
to return
I was offered a good position
at one of the Universities
and a house would be available
However my children
didn't want to go back
I suddenly developed
a "mysterious" health problem
and a dream
came to tell me not to go back